Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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