but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
