problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
