i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
