I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
