Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Sorry my hands just texted you
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
