Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
