Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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