thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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