There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
