i think i have two assholes
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
