Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
