Hey man sorry I got all grabby
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
