now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
