Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
