Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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