Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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