I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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