Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
