Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
