dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
