i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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