does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
