Sry I called you an 8
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
