just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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