he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
