I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He shit in the fireplace
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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