I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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