Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
