I wannas sexs uuuuu
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I have fence marks all over my body
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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