She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
