the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
