i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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