If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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