discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
