i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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