carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
