I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
