playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
They should really pass out barf bags in church
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
