I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
