Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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