Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
