worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
