I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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