with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
