That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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