Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
