no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
