I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
