Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
NoShamevember. You game?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
