is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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