idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
