the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
