Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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