We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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