we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
