who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
