can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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