You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
