I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
