i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
