was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
