Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
