i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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