I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
you never un-have a 4some
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
