So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
