3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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