Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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