i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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