well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
