nut hugger
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
