so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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